On a drizzly day, a very long time ago, I read a theory, which theory was that microbes are actually in charge of human activity. Forget human activity. The theory I read suggested that microbes are in charge of everything on the planet and they manipulate living creatures to do their will. This gives me the creeps, actually. Teeny, tiny little organisms  that we see as non intelligent beings are running the show? This is science fiction of the creepy kind. Sad to say, it's not fiction, we have parasites living on us, in us and around us, and they are opportunists.

I wonder how the nasty critters came to believe humans would fall for the kind of nonsense that Valentine's Day creates? On the other hand, romantic people are charming. The men hold doors open for the women, the women let the man lead the way, in case there are snakes or other pitfalls awaiting their dainty feet. Yes, romance is grand, but in most cases the only time people indulge in romantic gestures is around Valentine's Day and many times with ulterior motives of the type that lead to the bedroom or other soft places.

For a woman on a diet – Champagne and Chocolates, for a man who spends a lot of time at the gym, muscling up – Champagne and Chocolates. The gifts are grand, but it might be safer if romantic people merely waved or shook hands for Valentine's Day. There are non food gifts such as rings and necklaces, flowers and other items that will no doubt lead to many, many hugs and kisses.

It's the kisses that cause the joy for microbes and other parasites that live in the mouth, even some that should never get into a mouth live there on various people. Just think of the microbial travel during Valentine's Day, especially if a person has several Valentines. Each one of those Valentines giving a kiss to the gift giver will make the microbe world rejoice.

What triggered this Valentine's opinion is a photo I saw on Facebook. If you recall Star Wars, there is a scene in the movie that shows Princess Leia tethered to Jabba The Hutt by a fastening around her neck; the way she is dressed hints at things best left alone. The photo of which I speak is Princess Leia kissing her hero. The hero, Han Solo, makes a face, as she kisses him, which indicates he might be feeling stunned horror. Some joker captioned the photo, "The moment you realize the last person your girlfriend kissed was Jabba The Hutt."

Naturally, the photo of Han Solo making a face, while kissing Princess Leia, triggered thoughts for me. My brain being the way it is my thoughts are prone to travelling in unforeseen pathways, even unseemly pathways, if you really want more details. I wondered why people kiss in certain ways that are going to allow microbial interchange. In a eureka moment I realized it may be true, that microbes rule, and kissing is a good way for them to travel to new worlds, us.

People claim they would rather be bitten by a dog than another human, as they believe humans have bacteria laden mouths. I ask you, if that is what most people believe, then why do they kiss other people as if those mouths were bacteria free? What possesses people to do this? I know it's hormone activity, but I bet those microbes are at the bottom of that too.

It's true, dogs probably don't carry as many diseases via mouth as people and I think the reason is simple. Dog parasites don't favour dog mouths since there is a better route via the kind of stuff dogs like to eat. Unlike dogs, people kiss and guess what, they kiss lots of things that were not designed to be kissed, including Jabba The Hutt. Realize there are little parasites that want to travel with you. They want to travel with you to new worlds and that mouth approaching your mouth might have been someplace you would not touch with a finger let alone a lip.

Since arrival to Dawson Creek in 1960, Margo Hannah plants, paints and ponders, utilizing thrift and sloth to accomplish all.